Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts

Monday, December 28, 2009

Notes on X-mas from an Irreverent Boy Scout

Ah, Christmas: house full of friends and family you haven't seen in six months (or three years in my uncle's case), living room buried under mounds of boxes and strewn wrapping paper, plenty of food, plenty of alcohol, surprisingly little bickering, although I don't believe we were cooped up long enough for that.


Anyway, after dinner we congregated in the family room around the "large" 47'' LCD flatscreen (my lobbying for a larger television has thus far proven futile).  The CD/DVD player had been playing Louis Armstrong and Elvis Presley all night, but some enterprising cousins quickly reconfigured it with Life of Brian, much to the delight of the rest of us--much of the family is composed of ardent Monty Python fans.

We quoted punchlines with raunchy abandon, laughed at Pontius Pilate and Biggus Dickus, and all sang along at the end: "Always look on the bright side of life-hwu hwu, hwu hwu hwu hwu hwu hwu", such great advice.  Chuckling, I ventured into the kitchen to find one uncle (the three-year-away one) sitting thoughtfully by himself.  "Don't like the movie?" I asked.  He shook his head.  "No, it just seems kinda disrespectful right now," he replied.  I shrugged and made for the ice cream.


Only later did I pause to consider what he'd said.  Disrespectful?  Well, it was a Monty Python parody, wasn't it?  I suppose exploring and exposing gaping leaps of faith in Christianity on the night of the birth of Jesus could be considered more than a little blasphemous, but on second thought very little in Life of Brian makes fun of Christianity itself--it's more the followers of Brian, the hapless "Red Sea pedestrian" who, despite his best efforts, becomes a "prophet".  John Cleese has a particularly insightful role as a ringleader of Brian's people when he says, "I say you are [the messiah], Lord, and I should know--I've followed a few."  Besides, Jesus wasn't actually born on December 25, was he?  As far as I've seen, the exact date of birth is in dispute, with figures ranging from November 17 to January 6 to May 20, and Roman Christians moved the date to assimilate the pagan's winter solstice.  I'm personally not sure how disrespectful Life of Brian is in regard to Christmas, but I can't help wondering if maybe X-mas (my independent, agnostic, and, no doubt, heretical label) is the right time for such a movie.


After the end credits rolled, I watched the group split into groups and enter into vigorous discussion on a range of topics, from health-care reform to the recession to cultural relativism vs. universalism.  The families represented a wide spectrum of political, religious, and social perspectives, from conservative to liberal, Baptist to Agnostic.  At the counter, my grandfather recounted to several eager listeners how he and my grandmother escaped North Korea during the Korean War, losing a brother to arrest (they never heard from him again) and hiding under bridges during American bombing raids.  At a table, my mother and several others discussed the stock market, while several uncles reminisced about their grandmother's racist views and debated the role of race in current events.  Nearby, a friend was explaining how Catholic Mass worked, having helped organize one the night before.  I bounced from group to group, taking in new insights and interjecting my own thoughts whenever I felt the whim.  And I thought: this is the spirit of Christmas.  Not commercialization, not globalization, not Nativity, but being together with family and friends, freely and respectfully discussing matters of interest on into the night.  It gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling, the kind you get when you meet someone new whose thinking totally gels with yours, or when you perform a random act of kindness.

Not to say that Life of Brian was responsible for any of this, but now I think it was somewhat in the spirit of things.  Laughter and solemnity are very much in demand these days; laughter for when we struggle, solemnity to acknowledge the deeper moments in life.  And so it was on the night of December 25.  We enjoyed the comedy of Monty Python and then settled down for serious discussion.  And if bringing together opposing viewpoints is blasphemy, I'll eat my X-mas tree.

Happiest of holidays, no matter what political affiliation or religious views you subscribe to!

For the record, I'm agnostic and not entirely in keeping with the last tenet of the Boy Scout Law: A Scout is reverent toward God.  But I'll touch on the issue of religion in the BSA later.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Such an innocent question...




This arrived in my inbox via E-mail chain a couple months ago, before the election that sent a black senator from Illinois to the White House. I cannot claim credit for this sheer brilliance, nor can I pinpoint its origin, but whatever your political views, one must admit this is a very insightful text! In the spirit of these nonpartisan barbs, I've made the font purple

So, why did the chicken cross the road? 

BARRACK OBAMA: "The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change. The chicken wanted change!"

JOHN MCCAIN: "My friends, that chicken crossed the road because it was a maverick chicken, and it wanted to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road."

SARAH PALIN: "The chicken had to cross the road because it was not able to find a bridge. Alaskans do not build bridges to nowhere. If it wanted a bridge, it'd have to build it itself."

JOE BIDEN: "The chicken crossed the road to head back to Scranton."

HILLARY CLINTON: "When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from day one that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this isn't really about me."

GEORGE W. BUSH: "We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us or against us - there is no middle ground."

DICK CHENEY: "Where's my gun?"

COLIN POWELL: "Now there, to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite imagery of the chicken crossing the road."

BILL CLINTON: "I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?"

AL GORE: "I invented the chcken."

JOHN KERRY: "Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled as to the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it."

AL SHARPTON: "Why are all these chickens white? We need some black chickens."

DR. PHIL: "The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that it must first deal with the problems on this side of the road before it goes after the problems on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help it realize how stupid it's acting by not taking on its current problems before adding new ones."

OPRAH: "Well, I understand that this chicken's having problems, which is why it wants to cross the road so badly, so instead of having the chicken learn from its mistakes and take falls, which is a normal part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that it can just drive across the road and not live its life like other chickens."

ANDERSON COOPER: "We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road."

NANCY GRACE: "That chicken crossed the road because it's guilty! You can see it in its eyes and the way it walks!"

PAT BUCHANAN: "To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American."

MARTHA STEWART: "No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going or when it was going to cross the road. I had a standing order at the farmers' market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information."

DR. SEUSS: "Did the chicken cross the road? Did it cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it cross I've not been told."

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: "To die in the rain, alone."

GRANDPA: "In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was that."

BARBARA WALTERS: "Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we'll be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming tale of how it experienced a serious case of molting and then went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road."

ARISTOTLE: "It is the nature of chickens to cross roads."

JOHN LENNON: "Imagine all the chickens of the world crossing roads together in peace."

BILL GATES: "I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but also lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008, and this system is much more stable and will never reboot."

ALBERT EINSTEIN: "Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road merely move beneath the chicken?"

COLONEL SANDERS: "Did I miss one?"

- Cheers! -

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